Awesomeness!

While in St Louis, the fam and I went to Six Flags.  First of all, NO LINES!!  We, seriously, waited for 10 minutes, MAX, for any ride.  Second of all, my dad, uncle, cousin and I rode a BUNCH of roller coasters.  It was the best time ever.  Somehow I ended up with a camera on one of the roller coasters and Dee and I felt the need to take some pics.

Going up a drop!

Getting ready to start

This is the sweatiest man I have ever seen!

The above pic is of the guy who was taking pictures when you first walk into the park.  I first thought that he had dumped water on his head…..I was horrified to find out that I was wrong!!

ALSO, we rode this ride like 5 times.  Afterwards, Dee told me that she loved it but she never got to ride it at the six flags in Dallas.  I asked why?  She told me that it was always closed due to the fact that the test dummies heads always popped off during the tests.  BAHAHAHAHAHHA!

AWESOME!!

So, I am in Ohio for work.  I am having the most wonderful time ever.  Irene’s birthday was on Thursday, and we went out to eat.  Today we went to the movies and saw The Proposal.  It was teh awesome.  Right now we are watching Juno….which is a bundle of cool.

The only issue is that it is COLD up here.  It is colder than Tennessee.  How the five star is that possible?!?!?  It is a difference of 6 hours!   On Friday, one of the new hires was saying that she was going to have a pool party on Saturday….I have no idea how that could be possible.  BUT….I do love it here.  I love big cities.  I feel like there is so much that we can do.  I will never feel bored unless I actually want to be bored.

So my random thoughts of the day……

Bald people who have shiny heads…..that is stresses me out.  We were in the movie theater and there was a guy with a huge bald spot that was uber shiny.  I pointed it out.  Apparently I was louder than I thought.  Testerman was concerned that the bald guy heard me.  BUT…..seriously?  Did he not KNOW that his bald spot was shiny?  Did he not plan that?  I would have thought that it was a compliment because I was noticing it.

Fat chicks should not wear pants with sentences across the butt.  Especially stupid phrases that do not make any sense to be across someone’s butt.  I took this picture, while in line for a roller coaster at Six Flags in St Louis.

WHAT IS SHE THINKING??????

The tribe has spoken???  NOW…I know what that is from…..BUT what the hell is it doing on her BUTT?!?!?!?!?

So I was was driving through the drive thru at Hardees.  My dad was in need of a frisco burger and I was out….so I was doing my daughterly duty.  I was cussing because I was behind the slowest people on the planet.  How long does it really take to order a hamburger and fries?  Really?  Apparently, it takes about 10 minutes for 2 men to decide what the heck they want at a place that only serves different sizes of the exact same damn burger.

I was cussing and thinking ugly thoughts about these morons……

This is when my eyes were assaulted with, without a doubt, the most disgusting, horrific, and retarded thing I have ever seen, in my entire life.  These 2 guys were in a big truck that had….hanging from their tailgate….a freaking blue ball sack.  WTF??  This, of course, spawned an attempt to see what kind of person has such a revolting thing hanging from their truck…..

OK….so this fabulous man was wearing overalls with, what appeared to be, a wife beater underneath.  I have done a google images search and this picture keeps showing up (I bet he has balls hanging from his truck):

He was bald and had a mustache like this:

So, hopefully you have the image in your head on what kind of male who owns one of these:

This makes me want to vomit.  What self respecting woman has a male in her life with this kind of decoration hanging from their truck?  What self respecting moron buys something like this?  I can only hope and pray that the man was not in any sort of relationship.  Hopefully he will die alone.  Maybe they can incorporate the ball sack into his tombstone?

I am completely revolted by this.  I might be scarred for life.  I wonder if I could sue for mental trauma?

Good lord in heaven.  I woke up this morning to text message boy’s penis.  I know….you want to vomit…..trust me, I understand.  I probably should back up and explain…..cause I am thinking that this might be my own damn fault.

Lets go back in time….about 3 days ago when the following conversation took place:

Will: I usually have a problem with scaring off women.

Samantha: Say what?  Are you scary?

Samantha was hoping for something funny to happen…..she was disappointed, as usual.

Will: Yea….women dont usualy stick wit me.

Samantha: Because you dont know how to spell?

Will: LOL…u r funny.

Samantha: I was not joking.

Will: Well, I am very large.

Samantha: You are fat? You did not really look fat.

Will: No…down there.  My dick is very large.

Samantha: That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard in my entire life.  What kind of idiot does that line work on?

Will: U r mean

Samantha: Yes I am.  I would stop talking to me, if I were you.

THEN NOTHING FOR 3 DAYS

UNTIL THIS MORNING

When am I going to learn to keep my damn mouth shut?  Apparently he felt the need to prove his ‘largeness’?  WTF is wrong with men?  I responded with ‘Did you just send me a pic of your penis?  Really?  WTF is wrong with you?’  He still has not responded.

I have a couple of questions……

1. What kind of girl responds favorably to someone sending them a picture of a penis?
2. Was the desired response ‘hey!  You have a large penis!  OH MY.  I am in love and I will be happy to meet you and OBVIOUSLY sleep with you on the first date!!’
3. Do men not know that women are not really visual creatures? Unlike men?  Men would probably respond favorably to a girl sending them a pic of their boobs.
4. Do men not know that the penis is UGLY?  Truly.  I mean…if you want to send me a pic of your manly chest, your eyes, or your arms….YES.  Your penis?  NO.
5. What kind of girl responds favorably to this?

On Monday, I am soooo checking with my hosting provider (aka my BOSS) to see if posting this pic is a violation to our terms of service.  I feel like I must share this penis with my readers.

Does anyone actually want to see this?

“I don’t think God is a communist.” – Drew

“I could not care less about these damn people’s addictions!” – Amanda

“Mac is changing their slogan from ‘Think different’ because it does not match their buyer demographic” – James

“Peeing on someone’s feet might be the limit of some people’s love” – Lauren

“Say new direction fast….it sounds like nude erection!” – Suzette

“I say new direction at least once a day…..I will never be able to say that again.  Thanks, Suzette.” – Amanda

As the majority of you know….well, maybe not the majority……. I do not get involved in serious relationships.

I have an entire list of reasons why:

1. I hate having to plan things around other people.
2. I hate having to think about someone feelings when I just want to be by myself.
3. I have a short attention span and lose interest quickly.
4. Usually only crazy people are attracted to me….this makes life interesting for about a day and then is just annoying.
5. I have found that I am usually very disappointed in the reality of a relationship vs. the idea of a relationship.

So I am driving to work and my friend calls me to tell me that she has found out that her husband is cheating on her.  Now….he is not having sex with the couple of someones but there appears to be a lot of dirty texting, dirty pic sharing, and dirty talking going on.  Of course, she feels that he is cheating.  Of course, he does not feel like it is cheating since he has not touched any of these women.  This will be a debate between the 2 of them to deal with because, to me, that is a personal decision.

But I got to thinking about why I really do not do ’serious relationships’.  The majority of the men that are in the age bracket that I would date are cheaters.  This has been proven by conversations I have had with friends.  I can honestly say that I do not know a single married couple, my age, that has not dealt with this problem.  One of them cheats.  Period.  It happens.  It has become the norm for men or women to cheat on their spouses or participate in an adulterous relationship.

So I have done some research….which, by the way, makes me feel more depressed than ever:

Studies have shown that one out of every three couples have an individual that cheats on their partner which would mean 33%.

According to

USNews

“It showed 15 to 18 percent of “ever-married people have had a sexual partner other than their spouse while married.” And just 3 to 4 percent have cheated on their spouse in any given year.”

BUT

“A follow-up to the Chicago study showed that people interviewed without family members around had higher rates of infidelity. It stood to reason that many people simply weren’t honest when there was a chance a loved one could overhear. Meanwhile, a growing number of swinger societies, Internet liaisons, and prostitution rings of the sort that snared Spitzer seem to provide anecdotal evidence that cheating is on the rise. “The bottom line is we really don’t know accurately what the statistics are today,” says Joy Davidson, a New York City psychologist and author of Fearless Sex. “We can only surmise from our experiences in the world.”"

According to

MSNBC

“About one in five adults in monogamous relationships, or 22 percent, have cheated on their current partner. The rate is even higher among married men. And nearly half of people admit to being unfaithful at some point in their lives, according to the results of the MSNBC.com/iVillage Lust, Love & Loyalty survey.”

WTF?????

Why the heck are you in a ‘committed’ relationship, if you cannot control yourself?  Seriously?  That makes me vomit.  I grew up believing that you should love and cherish your spouse.  When you cheat, be it emotionally or physically, you are deliberately hurting the person that you swore to be with for life.  That is not love.  That is hurtful and mean.

BUT…..can we address the person who is not married and participates, knowingly, in an adulterous relationship?  What is wrong with these people?  What is the logic there?  If the person that is cheating on their spouse is cheating with you….what the heck makes you think they will not cheat on you at some point?  Or that they are even being truthful with you?  Have we become so desperate in our quest for love and affection that we have set ourselves up for failure?  That we lose our self respect and our dignity?

The women who have participated in the cheating with my friend’s husband…..they KNEW he was married.  They KNEW he had children.  They did not care.  To me, this says a few things….

1. They are desperate, moralless women
2. They cannot manage to get someone who is NOT in a relationship.
3. They have no self respect.

In reality, my friend found naked pictures that multiple women had sent to her husband and texts that made her blush.  What did she do with that information?  First of all, she confronted the hubby.  Second of all, she emailed the chicks.  The final thing she did with it was forward everything to me.  These women KNEW he was married.  They admitted to it and discussed when his wife would not be around so they could talk.

After we talk, I am probably going to post the chats and the pics here….and send them links.  The issue is that these stupid women sent a married man naked pictures of themselves.  Seriously…..that is NEVER a good idea…..and they deserve to have the shit posted on the web so everyone can see how stupid they are.  WHO THE HELL SENDS PEOPLE NAKED PICTURES IN THIS DAY AND AGE??  I am sure it will be lesson learned.

In case you have not figured it out…..I am FURIOUS that someone has hurt my friend this way.  She sent an email to the chicks to tell them that their pics would be on the web shortly.  If she does not get an acceptable apology and some sort of assurance that they will disappear, then you, my dear readers, will be seeing a lot more of these hobags.

I am tired of feeling like this is just accepted behavior.  I am tired of being disappointed in people because they just cannot do what is right.

Until I feel like this is not the norm….I am refusing to be in a serious relationship with anyone.  There is no reason.  Why should I set myself up to deal with this?

I have spent the last few days trying to be inspired to write something.  I have thought and thought and thought.

NOTHING.  NADA.  ZIP.  ZILTCH.

Truly, I have some stuff going on in my life and I think that it has gotten me down.  I realized on Tuesday that I am really not acting like myself at work or with my kids or with my friends.  I just feel completely empty.  I believe that I am depressed.  I need to snap out of it because this is teh suxzors.

The baby daddy is keeping the chicken butt today and probably tomorrow.  I am going to allow myself to wallow in this emptiness for the next day and then I am snapping out of it.  This gets me nowhere.

<3