I have gotten a new alarm clock. I am actually sad about parting with my old one. I have invested too much time and energy into the old alarm clock….
First of all, it was one of the first purchases made after I moved out of the ex-hubby’s house. So I am a little sentimental….
Second of all, it is as bright as the damn sun. Seriously. The thing is bright enough to read by. At first, the alarm clock kept me up at night. I actually worked at going to sleep with it on for about a month before I got used to it.
Third of all, the sound the alarm makes……well, it scares me to death every single morning. It is LOUD. LOUD. LOUD. I seriously scare myself awake every morning.
Finally, for the last month, it has become possessed. It started out only slightly possessed…..I would get up and turn the alarm clock off. It would continue to go off like I had pressed the snooze button. Then that progressed to going off at whatever time the alarm was set to, whether the alarm was turned on or not. Then, finally, it would go off at 5AM, whether the alarm was on or not or whether the alarm was set for 5AM or not. This means that I would need to get up at 9AM, so I would set my alarm for 9AM. The next morning, the damn alarm clock would go off at 5AM….AND never at 9AM.
I put up with all of this for over a month. I have finally broken down and bought a new alarm clock. It is pretty and white. It has a dimmer!! It has 2 different alarm clock functions. It automatically sets the time for you. It is uber smart. It has a soothing sound for its alarm noise. It is wonderful.
I am now looking for a home for my possessed alarm clock. I have tried to give it to my sister…but apparently she has heard the stories. I wonder if the ex-hubby wants it?
My awesome friend Testerman sent me a link to youtube and ‘2 hot girls in the shower’. Everyone knows that you cannot just watch one video on youtube. You HAVE to watch the suggested links.
Everyone knows that I have lots of opinions on pretty much everything under the sun. Something that I feel very strongly about is………crazy people who own Macs. Seriously….what is wrong with you people?? First of all, they are massively over priced. You cannot even get accessories for a decent price. Second of all, they are lacking in software. Third of all, people who own Macs are crazy ass people. They all believe stupid stuff like they don’t need anti virus software because Macs cannot be infected by a virus. REALLY? Maybe you do not get infected because even hackers have sympathy for you because you bought an over priced piece of crap?
The other day, Drew, Brad and I were discussing Macs. I am not impressed with the ‘all in one’ monitor thing. I get a monitor and that is the tower and everything? On top of that, the monitor is ugly. So, for 2K, I can get an ugly monitor that functions as a computer? Yuck. THEN we started talking about towers. Please make the stupidity stop!! Seriously…….they start at 3K. That includes a stripped down version with no monitor, mouse, ect. By the time we were done creating a computer, the price tag was hanging out around 19K. VOMIT!
Good lord in heaven. I woke up this morning to text message boy’s penis. I know….you want to vomit…..trust me, I understand. I probably should back up and explain…..cause I am thinking that this might be my own damn fault.
Lets go back in time….about 3 days ago when the following conversation took place:
Will: I usually have a problem with scaring off women.
Samantha: Say what? Are you scary?
Samantha was hoping for something funny to happen…..she was disappointed, as usual.
Will: Yea….women dont usualy stick wit me.
Samantha: Because you dont know how to spell?
Will: LOL…u r funny.
Samantha: I was not joking.
Will: Well, I am very large.
Samantha: You are fat? You did not really look fat.
Will: No…down there. My dick is very large.
Samantha: That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard in my entire life. What kind of idiot does that line work on?
Will: U r mean
Samantha: Yes I am. I would stop talking to me, if I were you.
THEN NOTHING FOR 3 DAYS
UNTIL THIS MORNING
When am I going to learn to keep my damn mouth shut? Apparently he felt the need to prove his ‘largeness’? WTF is wrong with men? I responded with ‘Did you just send me a pic of your penis? Really? WTF is wrong with you?’ He still has not responded.
I have a couple of questions……
What kind of girl responds favorably to someone sending them a picture of a penis?
Was the desired response ‘hey! You have a large penis! OH MY. I am in love and I will be happy to meet you and OBVIOUSLY sleep with you on the first date!!’
Do men not know that women are not really visual creatures? Unlike men? Men would probably respond favorably to a girl sending them a pic of their boobs.
Do men not know that the penis is UGLY? Truly. I mean…if you want to send me a pic of your manly chest, your eyes, or your arms….YES. Your penis? NO.
What kind of girl responds favorably to this?
On Monday, I am soooo checking with my hosting provider (aka my BOSS) to see if posting this pic is a violation to our terms of service. I feel like I must share this penis with my readers.
First of all, I do not watch the news. It completely depresses the hell out of me, so I just do not watch it. I do, however, listen to NPR on my way to work. So I get all of the necessary information of what is going on in the world.
So…on my way to work today, I am hearing all of this crazy talk about the ’swine flu’ killing people in Mexico and that there are reports of the ’swine flu’ in Tennessee. I am completely curious because I thought “why are pigs killing us with their flu?? do we spread human flu to them?? I THINK NOT!!!”
I looked up what the ’swine flu’ is:
Swine Influenza (swine flu) is a respiratory disease of pigs caused by type A influenza viruses. Outbreaks of swine flu happen regularly in pigs. People do not normally get swine flu, but human infections can and do happen. Most commonly, human cases of swine flu happen in people who are around pigs but it’s possible for swine flu viruses to spread from person to person also.
And wtf is it doing in humans?
In late March and early April 2009, cases of human infection with swine influenza A (H1N1) viruses were first reported in Southern California and near San Antonio, Texas. CDC and local and state health agencies are working together to investigate this situation. An updated case count of confirmed swine flu infections in the United States is kept at http://www.cdc.gov/swineflu/investigation.htm. CDC and local and state health agencies are working together to investigate this situation.
SO….what we are saying is that the pigs are trying to take over the world?? Cause this is actually killing people throughout the world. The World Health Organization raised the worldwide pandemic alert to phase 4. There are actually 6 phases, it turns out. SO….4 outta 6? That cannot be good!
My theory stands with the pigs are wanting to have world domination!
I pity the judge that has to think about this. Why would someone sue for this? And the 2 people were having sex? Why not do the masturbate in a cup thing? Plus, why did they not have the guy checked? I mean, if you are going to invest the money, you need to inspect the goods. Buyer beware?
I did some research and, apparently, there has not been a verdict decided on.
People have WAAAYYYY too much time on their hands.
