Awesomeness!

My awesome friend Testerman sent me a link to youtube and ‘2 hot girls in the shower’.  Everyone knows that you cannot just watch one video on youtube.  You HAVE to watch the suggested links.

I am a busy little worker bee.  I got a promotion yesterday and I have been working uber hard to get everything in order.  I heart me some teamwork.  Everyone is helping me get organized and caught up.  I love it.

Everyone knows that I have lots of opinions on pretty much everything under the sun.   Something that I feel very strongly about is………crazy people who own Macs.  Seriously….what is wrong with you people??  First of all, they are massively over priced.  You cannot even get accessories for a decent price.  Second of all, they are lacking in software.  Third of all, people who own Macs are crazy ass people.  They all believe stupid stuff like they don’t need anti virus software because Macs cannot be infected by a virus.  REALLY?  Maybe you do not get infected because even hackers have sympathy for you because you bought an over priced piece of crap?

The other day, Drew, Brad and I were discussing Macs.  I am not impressed with the ‘all in one’ monitor thing.  I get a monitor and that is the tower and everything?  On top of that, the monitor is ugly.  So, for 2K, I can get an ugly monitor that functions as a computer?  Yuck.  THEN we started talking about towers.  Please make the stupidity stop!!  Seriously…….they start at 3K.  That includes a stripped down version with no monitor, mouse, ect.  By the time we were done creating a computer, the price tag was hanging out around 19K.  VOMIT!

So I will leave you with this thought:

So I was was driving through the drive thru at Hardees.  My dad was in need of a frisco burger and I was out….so I was doing my daughterly duty.  I was cussing because I was behind the slowest people on the planet.  How long does it really take to order a hamburger and fries?  Really?  Apparently, it takes about 10 minutes for 2 men to decide what the heck they want at a place that only serves different sizes of the exact same damn burger.

I was cussing and thinking ugly thoughts about these morons……

This is when my eyes were assaulted with, without a doubt, the most disgusting, horrific, and retarded thing I have ever seen, in my entire life.  These 2 guys were in a big truck that had….hanging from their tailgate….a freaking blue ball sack.  WTF??  This, of course, spawned an attempt to see what kind of person has such a revolting thing hanging from their truck…..

OK….so this fabulous man was wearing overalls with, what appeared to be, a wife beater underneath.  I have done a google images search and this picture keeps showing up (I bet he has balls hanging from his truck):

He was bald and had a mustache like this:

So, hopefully you have the image in your head on what kind of male who owns one of these:

This makes me want to vomit.  What self respecting woman has a male in her life with this kind of decoration hanging from their truck?  What self respecting moron buys something like this?  I can only hope and pray that the man was not in any sort of relationship.  Hopefully he will die alone.  Maybe they can incorporate the ball sack into his tombstone?

I am completely revolted by this.  I might be scarred for life.  I wonder if I could sue for mental trauma?

Hopefully this will be the final post on the, now famous, text messaging guy.  His final answer was that he had accidentally sent me the picture of his penis….he MEANT to send me a picture of his truck.

WTF?

SERIOUSLY?

How does one make that mistake?

Good lord in heaven.  I woke up this morning to text message boy’s penis.  I know….you want to vomit…..trust me, I understand.  I probably should back up and explain…..cause I am thinking that this might be my own damn fault.

Lets go back in time….about 3 days ago when the following conversation took place:

Will: I usually have a problem with scaring off women.

Samantha: Say what?  Are you scary?

Samantha was hoping for something funny to happen…..she was disappointed, as usual.

Will: Yea….women dont usualy stick wit me.

Samantha: Because you dont know how to spell?

Will: LOL…u r funny.

Samantha: I was not joking.

Will: Well, I am very large.

Samantha: You are fat? You did not really look fat.

Will: No…down there.  My dick is very large.

Samantha: That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard in my entire life.  What kind of idiot does that line work on?

Will: U r mean

Samantha: Yes I am.  I would stop talking to me, if I were you.

THEN NOTHING FOR 3 DAYS

UNTIL THIS MORNING

When am I going to learn to keep my damn mouth shut?  Apparently he felt the need to prove his ‘largeness’?  WTF is wrong with men?  I responded with ‘Did you just send me a pic of your penis?  Really?  WTF is wrong with you?’  He still has not responded.

I have a couple of questions……

1. What kind of girl responds favorably to someone sending them a picture of a penis?
2. Was the desired response ‘hey!  You have a large penis!  OH MY.  I am in love and I will be happy to meet you and OBVIOUSLY sleep with you on the first date!!’
3. Do men not know that women are not really visual creatures? Unlike men?  Men would probably respond favorably to a girl sending them a pic of their boobs.
4. Do men not know that the penis is UGLY?  Truly.  I mean…if you want to send me a pic of your manly chest, your eyes, or your arms….YES.  Your penis?  NO.
5. What kind of girl responds favorably to this?

On Monday, I am soooo checking with my hosting provider (aka my BOSS) to see if posting this pic is a violation to our terms of service.  I feel like I must share this penis with my readers.

Does anyone actually want to see this?

“I don’t think God is a communist.” – Drew

“I could not care less about these damn people’s addictions!” – Amanda

“Mac is changing their slogan from ‘Think different’ because it does not match their buyer demographic” – James

“Peeing on someone’s feet might be the limit of some people’s love” – Lauren

“Say new direction fast….it sounds like nude erection!” – Suzette

“I say new direction at least once a day…..I will never be able to say that again.  Thanks, Suzette.” – Amanda

As the majority of you know….well, maybe not the majority……. I do not get involved in serious relationships.

I have an entire list of reasons why:

1. I hate having to plan things around other people.
2. I hate having to think about someone feelings when I just want to be by myself.
3. I have a short attention span and lose interest quickly.
4. Usually only crazy people are attracted to me….this makes life interesting for about a day and then is just annoying.
5. I have found that I am usually very disappointed in the reality of a relationship vs. the idea of a relationship.

So I am driving to work and my friend calls me to tell me that she has found out that her husband is cheating on her.  Now….he is not having sex with the couple of someones but there appears to be a lot of dirty texting, dirty pic sharing, and dirty talking going on.  Of course, she feels that he is cheating.  Of course, he does not feel like it is cheating since he has not touched any of these women.  This will be a debate between the 2 of them to deal with because, to me, that is a personal decision.

But I got to thinking about why I really do not do ’serious relationships’.  The majority of the men that are in the age bracket that I would date are cheaters.  This has been proven by conversations I have had with friends.  I can honestly say that I do not know a single married couple, my age, that has not dealt with this problem.  One of them cheats.  Period.  It happens.  It has become the norm for men or women to cheat on their spouses or participate in an adulterous relationship.

So I have done some research….which, by the way, makes me feel more depressed than ever:

Studies have shown that one out of every three couples have an individual that cheats on their partner which would mean 33%.

According to

USNews

“It showed 15 to 18 percent of “ever-married people have had a sexual partner other than their spouse while married.” And just 3 to 4 percent have cheated on their spouse in any given year.”

BUT

“A follow-up to the Chicago study showed that people interviewed without family members around had higher rates of infidelity. It stood to reason that many people simply weren’t honest when there was a chance a loved one could overhear. Meanwhile, a growing number of swinger societies, Internet liaisons, and prostitution rings of the sort that snared Spitzer seem to provide anecdotal evidence that cheating is on the rise. “The bottom line is we really don’t know accurately what the statistics are today,” says Joy Davidson, a New York City psychologist and author of Fearless Sex. “We can only surmise from our experiences in the world.”"

According to

MSNBC

“About one in five adults in monogamous relationships, or 22 percent, have cheated on their current partner. The rate is even higher among married men. And nearly half of people admit to being unfaithful at some point in their lives, according to the results of the MSNBC.com/iVillage Lust, Love & Loyalty survey.”

WTF?????

Why the heck are you in a ‘committed’ relationship, if you cannot control yourself?  Seriously?  That makes me vomit.  I grew up believing that you should love and cherish your spouse.  When you cheat, be it emotionally or physically, you are deliberately hurting the person that you swore to be with for life.  That is not love.  That is hurtful and mean.

BUT…..can we address the person who is not married and participates, knowingly, in an adulterous relationship?  What is wrong with these people?  What is the logic there?  If the person that is cheating on their spouse is cheating with you….what the heck makes you think they will not cheat on you at some point?  Or that they are even being truthful with you?  Have we become so desperate in our quest for love and affection that we have set ourselves up for failure?  That we lose our self respect and our dignity?

The women who have participated in the cheating with my friend’s husband…..they KNEW he was married.  They KNEW he had children.  They did not care.  To me, this says a few things….

1. They are desperate, moralless women
2. They cannot manage to get someone who is NOT in a relationship.
3. They have no self respect.

In reality, my friend found naked pictures that multiple women had sent to her husband and texts that made her blush.  What did she do with that information?  First of all, she confronted the hubby.  Second of all, she emailed the chicks.  The final thing she did with it was forward everything to me.  These women KNEW he was married.  They admitted to it and discussed when his wife would not be around so they could talk.

After we talk, I am probably going to post the chats and the pics here….and send them links.  The issue is that these stupid women sent a married man naked pictures of themselves.  Seriously…..that is NEVER a good idea…..and they deserve to have the shit posted on the web so everyone can see how stupid they are.  WHO THE HELL SENDS PEOPLE NAKED PICTURES IN THIS DAY AND AGE??  I am sure it will be lesson learned.

In case you have not figured it out…..I am FURIOUS that someone has hurt my friend this way.  She sent an email to the chicks to tell them that their pics would be on the web shortly.  If she does not get an acceptable apology and some sort of assurance that they will disappear, then you, my dear readers, will be seeing a lot more of these hobags.

I am tired of feeling like this is just accepted behavior.  I am tired of being disappointed in people because they just cannot do what is right.

Until I feel like this is not the norm….I am refusing to be in a serious relationship with anyone.  There is no reason.  Why should I set myself up to deal with this?

Swine flu??  Really?

First of all, I do not watch the news.  It completely depresses the hell out of me, so I just do not watch it.  I do, however, listen to NPR on my way to work.  So I get all of the necessary information of what is going on in the world.

So…on my way to work today, I am hearing all of this crazy talk about the ’swine flu’ killing people in Mexico and that there are reports of the ’swine flu’ in Tennessee.  I am completely curious because I thought “why are pigs killing us with their flu??  do we spread human flu to them??  I THINK NOT!!!”

I looked up what the ’swine flu’ is:

Swine Influenza (swine flu) is a respiratory disease of pigs caused by type A influenza viruses. Outbreaks of swine flu happen regularly in pigs. People do not normally get swine flu, but human infections can and do happen. Most commonly, human cases of swine flu happen in people who are around pigs but it’s possible for swine flu viruses to spread from person to person also.

And wtf is it doing in humans?

In late March and early April 2009, cases of human infection with swine influenza A (H1N1) viruses were first reported in Southern California and near San Antonio, Texas. CDC and local and state health agencies are working together to investigate this situation. An updated case count of confirmed swine flu infections in the United States is kept at http://www.cdc.gov/swineflu/investigation.htm. CDC and local and state health agencies are working together to investigate this situation.

SO….what we are saying is that the pigs are trying to take over the world??  Cause this is actually killing people throughout the world.   The World Health Organization raised the worldwide pandemic alert to phase 4.  There are actually 6 phases, it turns out.  SO….4 outta 6?  That cannot be good!

My theory stands with the pigs are wanting to have world domination!

Funny